Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
