I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
