Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
