Dual....:-)
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
