the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
