I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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