So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
