I just threw up on my dentist
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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