The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
