none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
