This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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