Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
