yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Randomize
