Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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