The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I could fuck to npr.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
