I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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