I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
