I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
