just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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