you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
how does that bad decision feel?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
