Yo dont text me then not text me
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Panties = found
Randomize
