When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
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