You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
