hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
