I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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