I puked a lego.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize
