Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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