I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
