We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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