Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Randomize
