I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
