Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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