So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
