i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Moan for me like Helen Keller
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
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