I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Randomize
