god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
