Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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