Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
