I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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