there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
