Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
