I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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