At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize
