We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
