Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
