Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
