Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
In America we eat man semen.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
