Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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