guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
