I'm lost and stupid without you.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
